Evading and Combating the Nemesis Fungus

This is a collection of Fungus-fighting methodologies to protect yourself and your loved ones from infection by the Nemesis Fungus. They come from both ancient Seekers of Truth and modern Unpersons. Use as many of these methods as possible. When methods disagree with each other, use both anyway. The Fungus may appear an indomitable foe, but it has weaknesses that can and must be exploited to their maximal degree if we want to grasp victory.

Microwaves
Microwave all your food. Microwave early, microwave often. Microwave all food before storage. Microwave all food directly before consumption. Re-microwave all stored products on a weekly basis. Ice cream is especially prone to infection.

Electricity
Canned foods are unfortunately impossible to microwave with domestic appliances. If you don't have access to a military grade radar emitter, electricity is a passable alternative. Lead-acid batteries provide additional protection. Connect canned products to car battery leads before storage or consumption. Mass electrification using a bathtub and saline allows for bulk processing. Weekly re-electrification is advised, but using a Galvanic Pantry for constant electrification is optimal.

Vaccines
The mercury-bearing compound thimerosal, found in many vaccines is a well-known anti-fungal agent, effective in both prevention and treatment of Fungal Infestation. Vaccinate for as many things as possible. Tell your doctor you are traveling to anywhere with vaccinatable outbreaks. Take flu vaccines on a Lunar schedule.

Additives
Artificial additives provide an additional level of protection to the canny Unperson. Artificial Flavoring, Coloring, and Preservatives all play their part. The more unpronounceable words in an ingredients list, the better. Yellow Number 5 and artificial grape are especially effective. Drink no milk without rbST.

GMOs
Monsanto's genetically altered strand of corn is designed specifically to combat the Fungus, thanks to the Shadow Government. High Fructose Corn Syrup is the ideal form of sugar to fight the Nemesis Fungus, eat nothing with cane sugar. Alcohol produced from Monsanto Corn, when mixed with gasoline, will also protect your vehicle from Fungal taint.

Plastic
Plastic is another weapon for use against the Fungus. BPA is optimal, and works best when activated. Leave water bottles in the sun or any other source of hard UV-rays. Food should be microwaved in plastic containers.

Lead
The Romans uncovered a secret weakness of the Fungus, known to them as Plumbum. The lead pipes of their aqueduct protected the inhabitants of Rome from water-borne spores. Antidotes were made by boiling grape juice in lead cookware to create defrutum, and concentrated into sapa. Making sapa in your own kitchen is easy and fun, and could potentially save your freedom. If you don't have a lead pot available, just pour some old pewter figurines in instead.

Ultraviolet Rays
Like Microwaves, UV radiation protects you from infection and combats existent infection. The sun is an excellent source of UV, but the outside is dangerous. Install black-lights in every room of your home. Keep black-light posters to confirm the lights' functioning. The best solution for night-time protection is to sleep in a Tanning Bed.

Cathode Ray Tubes
CRTs project waves disruptive to Encephalomycological Propagation Mechanisms. Pointed outwards, they repel spores and their psychic wave-fronts. Pointed inwards, they dampen spore reproduction and nullify psychic influence. Both is ideal, in every direction possible. The Double-Spherical CRT Mount provides all-round protection.

CMMA
A properly constructed Cranially Mounted Microwave Amplifier protects your most at-risk organ from encephalomycological tampering. Crafted from compounded layers of lead, tin, and aluminum foils concentrate ambient microwaves, making your cranial case an anti-Fungal environment.

Borax
Sodium Borate is another well-known anti-fungal agent. Dial's Death Valley operation, 20 Mule Team, was a coup against nearby Fungal incursion. Diluted Borax spray or paste can be used to test for GETs.